Funny Quotes

• If you're too lazy to start anything, you may get a reputation for patience.

• I'm on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it.

• I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people.

• Never try to drown your troubles... especially if she can swim.

• Smile, it makes people wonder what you're thinking.

• A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk I have a work station.

• By the time a man realizes that his father was usually right, he has a son who thinks he's usually wrong.

• Teachers are those who help us in resolving problems
which, without them, we wouldn't have.

• There are two theories to arguing with women.
Neither one works.


• Girls are like internet domain names... the ones I like are already taken.

• Quit smoking! Take air pollution straight.

• Finally 21 and Legally Able to Do Everything I've Been Doing since 15.

• There are three sides to every argument: your side,my side and the right side.

• An expert is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.

• Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

• When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

• Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

• Experience is what a comb gives you after you lose your hair.

• Where there's a will there are five hundred relatives.

• Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.